Category Archives: All That’s Random

Instagram

I don’t get why instagram requires all your photos to be square. I mean, cameras don’t take square photos. Squares are so… square.

Sorry, instagram. If I can’t post my entire photo, I’m not posting it at all.

And I don’t do square photos.

Advertisements

Gaming

I am not a gamer. I am a complete noob at every single video game under the sun. However, my wonderful brother has valiantly attempted to teach me how to play Modern Warfare 3.

It really didn’t work too well.

But it was a lot of fun, actually. I really don’t understand why so many girls are so against videogames. Why don’t they just try to learn how to play the game with their boyfriends or whatever? Keep an open mind. Just try it. You never know. It might actually be fun.

Even so, I’ll probably never be a “true” gamer.

Gaming is not easy.

Materialism and The American Dream

Materialism and The American Dream

The American Dream started out as a dream of freedom. A dream of equal opportunity for all. A dream of a better life through hard work. A dream of being an individual. A dream of liberty.

The American Dream transformed into a dream to improve quality of life for the greatest number possible. A dream of safety. A dream of healthy futures. A dream to spread our ideals of freedom across the globe.

The American Dream then became a dream of education. A dream of the best schools in the world. A dream of the brightest students in a classroom, intelligent eyes intently watching a teacher scrawl the day’s lesson on the blackboard. A dream of the best for the children, the future of America.

But what has become of that dream? What are the people of America looking for now?

As I look upon the sad, consumerist society I live in, it is clear. The dream is no longer a dream of equality. The dream is no longer a dream of being an individual. The dream is no longer even a dream of a better life. The dream is now focused on only one thing: material goods. People want nothing more than to live life as portrayed in the movies, with the fastest cars, the shiniest jewelry, and the newest technology. The media has defined the American Dream simply as “getting stuff.” The people with the greatest amount of material wealth are the happiest, they say. And the worst part is, working hard for that material wealth became rather unnecessary. People simply bought everything with credit. As people spent money they didn’t have on things they didn’t need, they fell deeper and deeper into debt. The people looked everywhere for someone to blame, passing the blame around from the president, to the top 1%, to Wall Street. They failed to place the blame where it often belonged: to themselves. The people could not take responsibility for their own carelessness.

Now, people strive to live like movie stars. People want fame and fortune, and they believe that that is what the American Dream is all about. The dream has shifted from improving life through hard work to a dream of becoming wealthy without doing much at all. It has made us into a lazy, entitled group of people who take everything for granted.

We cannot allow such thinking to overcome us. The nation is obsessed with the accumulation of things and convinced that somehow, buying that new dress will make one happier. Advertisements everywhere try to persuade us that owning those shoes or that handbag will make us happier. Somehow, we came to believe that our worth was measured by the amount of stuff we have. Somehow, we came to believe that we need designer handbags and automatic toothpaste dispensers. Somehow, we came to believe that buying more things will make us happier. But it won’t.

Material possessions will not last forever. The satisfaction from buying that new car will only last a moment, until the next new car comes along, faster than the first. There will always be something better out there.

Perhaps the saddest thing is that no matter how many shiny new toys we buy for ourselves, we never seem to get any happier. We spend so much time dreaming of the new things we can buy thinking that those things will make us happier. But they won’t.

The American Dream is now a dream of extravagant wealth. A dream of fame. A dream of owning the biggest house. A dream of having all of the latest technology. A dream of owning nice cars, the newest gaming systems, and the fastest computers. America is one of the most materialistic countries in the world, and this greed will ruin us all.

Boomerang things

You know what they are. They’re those things that you try so hard to get rid of, but they always come back. You could spend weeks working so hard to get it out of the way, but it always hobbles back to you, taunting you and teasing you, smug in its triumph. They always boomerang right back to you, no matter how hard you work. So here is my list of the top ten things I always try to get rid of but always come back.

  1. Bad friends: This one’s a big one. I know I have that one annoying friend that I try so hard to get rid of, but they just won’t go away. I “forget” to invite them to your gatherings, and I get overly upset when they do one little thing wrong. Heck, sometimes I even ramble on about how bad of a friend I am to them and how they should find other nice people to hang out with. But they just won’t go away. They always forgive me and keep trying to hang out with me. Ugh. (I’ll probably do a full-length rant on this one day.)
  2. Annoying exes: ‘Nuff said.
  3. Zits: Especially being a teenager. I battle with acne on a daily basis. As soon as I get rid of one zit, a whole bunch take its place. No matter how many different face washes and pimple creams I’ve tried.
  4. Body hair: Girls especially know what I’m talking about. Can’t I go hair-free and skip shaving for even a few days?
  5. Weight: I’ll bet everyone can relate to this one. Those ten pounds I lost last month after dieting for half a year? Gained it all back at Christmas dinner at Grandma’s!
  6. Guilt: As soon as I start feeling better about myself, something reminds me of that one thing I did wrong and I feel bad all over again.
  7. Sicknesses: Yep. Get better for a while, and I’m sick again real soon. Especially during cold season.
  8. Clutter: Obviously. That pile of papers I cleaned up on your desk yesterday? It’s back. All the random junk in my garage I sold at that yard sale last month? A new pile of junk has taken its place. Why??
  9. Pests: Didn’t we just call the exterminator last week? Where do all these bugs come from?
  10. That one ugly skirt in the back of my closet: Why is it still there?? Didn’t I put it in the “Donate” box last spring cleaning?

Anti-pickup Lines

Screen Shot 2013-04-29 at 9.53.52 PM

I’m what you call an anti-flirt. Don’t even try flirting with me. I’ll come up with some condescending witty response to your clever little pickup line and send you packing. It’s kind of an automatic defense. So today, I’m going to share with you a collection of the best responses to some classic and clever lines. Some of these I came up with. Some I’ve read on websites. Some my friends came up with.

THE LINE: Do you have a map? Because I’m lost in your eyes.
THE RESPONSE: No, but I can give you directions to “Out of my Face.”

THE LINE: I forgot my library card. Can I check you out anyways?
THE RESPONSE: Well, why don’t you bring your library card and check out some books. You know. To read. Or are you too stupid to do that?

THE LINE: Are you made of copper and tellurium? Because you’re CuTe.
THE RESPONSE: No, but it seems like you’re made of arsenic and sulfur. You’re a real AsS

THE LINE: I’m no weatherman, but you can expect more than a few inches tonight.
THE RESPONSE: Really? Why don’t you just go drown in that rain.

THE LINE: Are you tired? You’ve been running through my mind all day.
THE RESPONSE: Yeah, actually. I’ve been running away from you.

THE LINE: I’m a photographer. I’ve been looking for a face like yours.
THE RESPONSE: I’m a plastic surgeon. I’ve been looking for a face like yours.

THE LINE: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together.
THE RESPONSE: Well, that’s okay, because N and O are already together.
(or if you wanna mix it up a bit, you can try…)
If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put F and U together.

THE LINE: U and I are in beautiful.
THE RESPONSE: But there’s only U in ugly.

THE LINE: Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?
THE RESPONSE: No, but it hurt when I died fifteen years ago, along with that line.

THE LINE: Go ahead, don’t be shy. Ask me out.
THE RESPONSE: Okay. Get out.

THE LINE: I lost my number. Can I have yours?
THE RESPONSE: The phone company can help you with that.

THE LINE: Your face must turn a few heads.
THE RESPONSE: And yours must turn a few stomachs.

THE LINE: I would die for you!
THE RESPONSE: Prove it.

THE LINE: I would go to the ends of the earth for you.
THE RESPONSE: Great. Then stay there.

THE LINE: Your body is a temple.
THE RESPONSE: And there are no services today.

THE LINE: Your place or mine?
THE RESPONSE: Both. You go to yours, and I’ll go to mine.

THE LINE: I want to give myself to you.
THE RESPONSE: Ugh, what a cheap gift!

THE LINE: Is this seat empty?
THE RESPONSE: Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down.

THE LINE: Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?
THE RESPONSE: Walk by again, but this time, don’t stop!

THE LINE: Do you know karate, because your body is kicking!
THE RESPONSE: Actually, I do. Would your crotch like a demonstration?

THE LINE: Those must be space pants because your ass is out of this world!
THE RESPONSE: No, these are baseball pants because this ass is out of your league
(or if you wanna mix it up, you can try…)
Is that a donkey’s tongue? Because it’s making an ass out of you.

THE LINE: I can tell that you want me.
THE RESPONSE: Well, I want you to leave.

THE LINE: Are you a parking ticket, because you have “FINE” written all over you!
THE RESPONSE: No, but are you a parking ticket? Because nobody likes you.

THE LINE: Look at your keyboard. U and I are together.
THE RESPONSE: Yeah, but right under that, it says JK!

THE LINE: I’m not a genie, but I can make your wishes come true.
THE RESPONSE: Great. First wish: for you to go away.

THE LINE: How did you get so beautiful?
THE RESPONSE: I must have taken your share.

THE LINE: Does beauty run in your family?
THE RESPONSE: I don’t know, but it sure as hell doesn’t run in yours!

And of course, if you can’t come up with a response, simply say: “That’s an interesting approach. Now let’s see your departure.”

Comment below with your best pickup line comebacks!