Category Archives: Teenagerisms

I’m Not A Bitch

Recently, I was asked to homecoming by a guy I actually didn’t know all too well. I mean, I had a class with him last year and that’s really about it. We talked some, but not a lot. He played his guitar and everything, and there were at least 40 people in the room and probably about 10 video-taking devices out too. And I rejected him in front of all those people.

Bitch move, you think?

Maybe it is, if you only know that part of it.

You see, I’m not a dance type of person. I’m not a fan of the high school’s homecoming dance. I went last year and it was boring. And the music was awful, by my standards. Then again, I have a rather odd taste. But no matter. I didn’t want to spend 3 hours in a crowded, dark, indoor space with bad music blasting from the loudspeakers in formal wear with no good food, no matter who else was there. I hate crowds, I hate indoor spaces, I hate crowds in indoor spaces, I hate bad music, and I always do things for food. Homecoming is like some kind of hell for me or something.

The guy did consult my friends about it, and my two best friends told him it was a bad idea. My guy friends didn’t really say anything though, although they did know that I really, really, really didn’t want to go to homecoming. Naturally, I wasn’t expecting anyone to ask me of all people.

But alas, I was wrong. I walked out to break and all my friends were standing there staring at me. They told me to follow them, so I did, and a crowd of 40 people followed me. I know that the word spread around really quickly, and I’m sure lots of people just followed because mass migrations of high school students don’t happen very often. So something interesting had to be happening. Anyways, everyone went inside the room, but they wouldn’t allow me in for another five minutes. I knew what was going to happen at this point and I was considering walking away, but curiosity got the best of me. I needed to know who it was. Finally, they let me in. I burst into the room super confidently, saw the guy standing there with his guitar, and started stumbling around for a chair. I took a seat and he started playing. My best friend looked over at me and whispered, “Just say yes, okay? I’ll go with you.” But she knew I wouldn’t do it. I whispered back, “I really don’t want to go, though.” She replied, “Well, neither do I!” This was kinda confusing to me. She didn’t want me to say no, but she didn’t want to go with me, but she offered to. Shouldn’t she think that it would be better if I just said no? But that’s besides the point. Anyways, I argued with her and my other friend about this for a while, even though I probably should have been paying attention to what the guy was doing. I was panicked, though. I didn’t want to say no in front of everyone, but I knew that if I said yes, I would totally regret it later. Three hours of my life listening to music I can’t unlisten to.

So at the end of it all, I explained that I wasn’t going to homecoming, gave him a hug, and I walked out. I couldn’t look at anyone in that room in the eye. I felt so heartless, but it wasn’t even my fault. He knew it was a bad idea. And he thought he could be super sweet and just sway me into doing something I really didn’t want to do.

I felt like a heartless bitch for a while, but then I realized that I’m not.

I don’t owe it to anyone to spend three hours with them. I really don’t owe it to anyone to spend three hours in a crowded indoor space with them. And I really, REALLY don’t owe it to anyone to spend three hours in a crowded indoor space with really bad music with them. Even if they play the guitar for me. That’s three hours of me wishing I could be anywhere else, and three hours I could spend doing something else, something I actually enjoy doing.

A girl often feels pressured into just saying yes to a guy because she feels bad for him, even though she doesn’t really want anything to do with him. Yes, I understand that guys usually have to make the first move, and while I commend them for their bravery, I feel like they fail to realize that rejecting a guy isn’t easy either. Especially in front of 40 people. After he played the guitar for you. When so much effort is put into something like this, girls feel like they owe it to guys to just give in, but really, we don’t. And it’s unfair for us to feel like heartless bitches when we reject guys. We shouldn’t be pressured into something we don’t want to do.

So, I came to the conclusion that I’m not cruel for rejecting him. He knew that I wasn’t planning on going and that I am terribly stubborn. If he thought that he could sway me into going by pulling out his guitar and dragging 40 people along, it’s unfair to me.

I shouldn’t feel mean for not giving in to something I really, really didn’t want to do.

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Dealing with Emotions

I’m not an emotional person. Vulnerability has never been my strong suit (I now realize that this is an oxymoronic statement).

But lately, I’ve been feeling kind of emotional. And it’s driving me crazy.

Living most of my life as an emotionally detached person, I’ve never really learned how to deal with emotions. It’s probably my greatest weakness. I’ve never exactly dealt with anything. I just drown out my thoughts in Nirvana. I can’t cry or even really voice how I feel. I don’t know what’s wrong, or if anything’s even wrong. It’s just kinda weird.

I’ve always been the shoulder to cry on. I’ve always been able to deal with other people’s emotions. But I can’t deal with my own.

Teenager Girl-isms: Compliments

I’m kind of an awkward person and I don’t give out very many compliments. It’s just who I am. But I have yet to decide whether not giving out compliments much at all is worse than giving out insincere ones.

I have seen many, many girls tell another girl that their outfit is super cute or hey’re super pretty, and then turn around and just bitch about the same girl five minutes later. It’s absolutely ridiculous. It’s like that scene in Mean Girls where Regina says to a girl, “I like your skirt. Where did you get it?” and then right after the girl leaves, she turns to Cady and says, “That is the ugliest skirt I have ever seen.”

Why do female people feel the need to toss empty compliments back and forth when they mean quite the opposite? It makes no sense to me.

Another thing many girls are guilty of is deflecting compliments. It’s classic.

“Oh, you look so pretty!”

“Ugh no, the hairdresser messed up my haircut and now it looks like there’s a rat nest on my head and I gained like fifteen pounds at my grandmother’s house last weekend. I’m so ugly.”

This happens ALL THE TIME. Then, the complimenter feels bad and continues handing out compliments in an effort to make things better. It just never ends. It is very, very annoying. I hate it.

I don’t know whether girls are doing this because they’re trying to be modest or they’re just trying to fish for compliments, but whatever the reason, STOP IT.

Honestly, I have half a mind to just agree with them and say, “Fine. If you really think so, you’re ugly and fat. Whatever. Don’t take my compliment.” But ordinarily, at that point I just change the subject.

PLEASE just smile, say thank you, and move on, girls. Nobody likes your “I’m so ugly” talk.

Teens and Social Media

Social media is everywhere. Every advertisement tells you to like a page on Facebook, or follow someone on Twitter, or snap a photo and post it to Instagram. It’s nearly impossible to avoid in today’s society. Additionally, it seems that the overwhelming majority of people using social networks are teenagers. Our lives are on the internet. When we eat good food, or crappy food, or any kind of food really, we need to snap a photo of it and put an “artistic” filter on it and post it on Instagram. We tweet every hour to let our followers know what we’re up to, even if we’re just “bored, lying in bed and watching Sherlock.”

And in all honesty, everybody complains about oversharers, but everyone does it.

Social media has done some good in our society. We can connect to our friends very quickly and easily, find out what everyone in town thinks of a new restaurant, and easily see what new movies and such are coming out. However, I feel like there is a lot of drama on social media, especially on Facebook.

A friend of mine blocks people on Facebook when she’s mad. She has gotten mad at me before and threatened to block me. My initial thought (and only thought, actually) when she said that was, “What?” I found it incredibly ridiculous that blocking me on Facebook even counts as a viable threat! It still makes me laugh even right now. I mean, seriously. Go ahead and block me on Facebook. Not like it affects me that much anyways. Interestingly enough, though, this friend of mine consistently threatens to block people when she’s mad at them. I don’t get why she does that. Nobody ever cares and it just makes them want to provoke her even more. She can’t do anything except block people on Facebook!

I can’t even count how many times I’ve seen an argument on Facebook over the most pointless things. It’s absolutely ridiculous. And of course, it’s under someone’s status for the whole world to see, and you can be sure that they’re enjoying the arguments. Teens are dramatic enough as it is, but if you add a platform like Facebook, where hundreds of “friends” can read everything posted, suddenly everything is amplified. Anyone can add comments that could offend others and light other angry sparks.

YouTube comment arguments are terribly common also. I don’t understand what it is with people, but they always have to call out strangers whenever their opinions differ. Seriously guys, just leave it alone! ONE person thinks One Direction is better than Bon Jovi. Well, too bad for them! They’re missing out on amazing music because they’re too distracted by bubblegum pop and shit. Why does it even matter what some 10-year-old in Nebraska thinks anyways? If you don’t like 1D, don’t listen to them! And don’t expect a ten-year-old to have the same music interests as you do! Another thing I don’t understand is why people watch a music video and say something like, “This music sucks.” If it sucks, then why the hell are you listening to it? That’s just giving the video more views and increasing its publicity.

I use social media sites a lot, but if people would just please stop being such dicks on the Internet, the world would really appreciate it.

Teenagerism #2: Trying to Grow Up

Teenagers are at this weird phase. We’re not grown up yet, but we aren’t little kids anymore either. We feel kind of stuck between being a kid and being an adult. However, too often, we’re told that we’re too young to do things.

So what do we do? We rebel. We try to grow up, to be adults so adults will actually take us seriously. We go against what adults tell us in an effort to prove to them that we ARE, in fact, old enough to handle ourselves.

Sometimes, it’s the other way around. I know many teens whose parents push them to grow up. They are constantly studying and worrying about college at 13 or 14 years old. They don’t ever get a chance to be kids.

Either way, teens are caught in this huge race to mature and be an adult.

I really don’t understand it. Being a kid is awesome. I remember when I was six years old and the only thing I had to worry about was feeding my Tamagotchi. I didn’t have to care about clothing brands, periods, or acne. Boys still had cooties, and the only thing to cry over was a scraped knee. Life was easy. Why are people in such a rush to grow up? Why do 13-year-olds feel the need to start dating or wearing makeup and putting mousse in their hair? Is growing up really that attractive? What’s so great about having a boyfriend at 13 years old? What are you going to do with one anyways? What’s so great about caking your face with powder and goop? Isn’t life better when you can just run out onto the swingset and play on it for hours?

It makes me kind of sad to look at how much everyone has changed over the years. Many people I knew were the happiest kids in the world in elementary school, but now they’re depressed and stressed-out. This is what growing up is really like. No more happy-go-lucky, innocent fun. Just a lot of unnecessary pressure to get things done.

Teenagerism #1: Everything is a big deal!

The world constantly complains about teenagers. We’re rebellious, we’re rude, we’re loud and obnoxious with our friends, and we’re stony silent with our families. We stay up late, swear, and do stupid things. It’s who we are. Parents consult child psychologists and parenting magazines to learn how to handle their teenagers, but why don’t they ever consult the main source? Ask a teenager! So, in an attempt to explain the mindsets and attitudes of teenage brains, I’d like to present a little series I call, “Teenagerisms.”

Teenagerism #1: Everything is a big deal!

Teenagers make a big deal out of everything. Everything can tear their universe apart. Everything will ruin their lives. It’s absolutely ridiculous. That girl he likes doesn’t like him back? It’s the end of the world. She gets a D on ONE test? She’s convinced she won’t go to college.

I don’t really understand it, but these little things that might not be a big deal to adults are a big deal to us young people. I know I can’t speak for the entire teenage population, but I know that sometimes, I make a huge deal out of the littlest things. And there’s always that voice in the back of my mind that’s whispering, “Calm down. It’s not a big deal. You’re being a baby about this. Stop it.”

But the rest of me is screaming at that tiny, reasonable voice, “Shut up! My life is over and my world is falling apart and everything sucks and everything should just go die!”

Of course, I believe I’m on the more reasonable side of the teenager scale, and I know I’ll make mistakes, people won’t always be nice to me, and not everything will go my way. And most of the time, I’m okay with that. But I have my moments.

I’ve had so many friends that make a huge deal out of the littlest things. A dear friend of mine was the queen of drama queens. If you looked up “teenage drama” in the dictionary, her picture would be right there, her bright green eyes staring at you with a stony cold gaze.

Forget to text her back? “OMG, are you mad at me? You’re mad at me, aren’t you? You think I’m a bad friend, don’t you? WHY ARE YOU IGNORING ME?”

Hang out with a different group for a lunch period? “OMG you’re replacing me. What did I do wrong? Am I a bad friend? No, wait. You’re a bad friend because you’re ditching me for those girls. I’m not speaking to you anymore.”

Has a crush on a guy? “He’s so awesome and so cute and so athletic and so talented! He totally likes me. He was staring at me all through class yesterday!” (He really wasn’t.)

We’re teenagers. We perceive everything differently because we’ve seen enough to understand that bad things happen, but we’re still too young to understand that everything will be okay in the end. So, when faced with a teenager’s “crisis,” just hear us out. Please don’t make a big joke out of it. These “little things” are a big deal to us, and we’d appreciate it if the important adults in our lives treated them that way.