Being Single

Whenever I meet another girl, for some odd reason, the conversation always drifts towards relationships and dating. And every single time the subject of relationships is brought up, this is almost exactly how it goes every single time:

Her: So, do you have a boyfriend?

Me: No.

Her: Really? Because I know this really nice guy… [goes into how nice this guy is and how I’d really like him and whatnot]

Me: No, thank you.

Her: What?

Me: I said, “No, thank you.” I’m not looking for a relationship right now.

Her: Why not?

Why not, you ask? Because being single ROCKS. There are so many reasons why flying solo is the way to go!

1. Freedom! You don’t have to make time for your significant other. It’s your time, and you can do whatever the hell you want with it. Go party, have a drink at the bar, stay home and have a Gossip Girl marathon, watch 4 football games at the same time, whatever! It doesn’t matter. Do whatever you want. Your boyfriend (or girlfriend) can’t tell you otherwise. You can make decisions without consulting anyone, and you can change your plans last minute much more easily.
2. No drama. You don’t have to worry about your boyfriend getting jealous because you’re having lunch with your best guy friend, and you don’t have to worry that your girlfriend will be mad at you for blowing her off to hang with the bros. You don’t have to worry about stupid fights, tears, or heartbreaks.
3. You have so much more time to spend with yourself, with your friends, and with your family. A lot of people realize a lot of things about themselves when they’re single: who they are, what they want in life, and what they’re looking for. You could do the same.
   
4. You can meet so many new people. Make friends with people of the opposite gender. Flirt a little. You’re a great person. Why not find other great people to spend your time with, instead of being tied down to your partner all night? 
5. Sit around at home in sweats and no makeup with your hair in a messy bun all you want. Nobody’s judging. Skip a shower for a day? Fine. Forget to shave for a couple weeks? Great. Nobody cares.
6. You can focus on lots of other things, like school or your career. Since you have more time for it, you’re bound to achieve more than you ever had before.
7. You get the whole bed, the bathroom, everything to yourself. No more waiting half an hour for your girlfriend to finish doing her makeup and hair. No more fighting over the covers. It’s all yours.
8. It’s so much more exciting. With a specific partner, sure, it’s comforting because they’ll always be there. But it gets boring. When you’re single, you wonder. “Does he like me?”  “Will she text me back?” It’s a lot of fun when you don’t know what’s going to happen next.
9. You won’t miss super awesome parties or group outings because you’re stuck hanging out with your boyfriend. You can have tons of fun with your friends instead of sitting at home watching him play videogames.

I really don’t understand why everyone feels the need to pair me up with someone else. Society seems to believe that being relationship-less is such a horrible, lonely experience, but “single” is not synonymous with “lonely.” Am I wrong to believe otherwise? Do I simply fail to realize how delicate and unstable my heart is, and that what I truly need is a man to make me whole? Am I supposed secretly cry myself to sleep, whine, and sigh about how lonely it gets? Absolutely not. Being single might have a few downsides, but when you consider the positives, it’s pretty awesome. There really is such thing as single and happy, no matter what anyone tells you. So go ahead. Make some new friends. Try some new things. Enjoy life. You’ll find your special someone someday.

Emotions: Attraction

What is it about people that makes them attracted to other people? Why do guys like a girl and only see other girls as “just friends,” and vice versa? Two best friends can be so similar, but one is the object of a crush and the other is just a friend. What sets those two people apart in the crusher’s mind, when often times they are very similar?

For example, a good friend of mine has a huge crush on my best friend, but I’m just a friend to him, even though my best friend and I act alike and think alike. I’m perfectly fine with him liking my best friend, but it makes me wonder. What is it about her that makes her crushable to him, but not me? And it’s the same thing the other way around. Why do certain guys like me and not her?

So, with all these questions, I hopped onto Google and hoped to find some answers. I read a plethora of articles and learned a few things.

1. Physical attraction is an important factor in most cases. The first thing people do when someone walks into a room is judge them by their looks. They may not be doing it consciously, but the way someone looks is the deciding factor on whether or not they will pursue the person and attempt to get to know them better.
   

   Barney Stinson (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

2. Proximity is also important. Okay, so the first time we see someone, we may not be impressed. But if we continue to run into them or see them everywhere, we will become more and more attracted to them. So, if we live near someone or sit near someone in class or work near them and interact with them, we may find ourselves become more attracted to them, which, I suppose, is why “boy next door” or “girl next door” love stories are fairly common. I guess Barney Stinson’s “mermaid theory” is actually true.
3. The saying that “opposites attract” is not true. People are generally like people that are more similar to them because similarity encourages positive interaction.
4. We actually subconsciously have a list of criteria for what we look for in a partner or a friend. When we meet someone who meets a large percentage of our criteria, we automatically like them better and find them more interesting. But if we find someone who doesn’t match our list of qualifications, we lose interest in them, even if it seems like everyone else loves them.
5. We tend to look for people who remind us of other loved ones. Familiarity breeds attraction. People that have similar characteristics as people we know and love are more attractive to us because they validate our values and beliefs.
6. Men tend to be more attracted to classically beautiful women, and women tend to look for the “dominant” or “alpha” male. I guess that’s why girls seem to tend to go for jerks, especially if they’re strong, confident, and popular.

Attraction is an interesting emotion. Many different factors determine why certain people find you attractive and certain others don’t. I suppose, in the case with me and my best friend, some find her more attractive because they tend to interact with her more and others find me more attractive because they interact with me more. Positive interaction with someone breeds attraction, so if you want to get the girl (or guy), man up and talk to them! If the experience is pleasant, they will definitely like you a lot better.